


Not Just My Best Mate

by Liz_87



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:15:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24570682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liz_87/pseuds/Liz_87
Summary: When exactly did Charlie realise he'd fallen in love with Duffy? Series 7.
Relationships: Lisa "Duffy" Duffin/Charlie Fairhead
Kudos: 3





	Not Just My Best Mate

Charlie knew he should probably head home now his shift was over but his head was too full of conflicting thoughts about the day's events and the idea of spending another night alone with only the television and a bottle of whisky for company was none too appealing.

After picking up a few items from the shop near the hospital he found himself wandering back through the carpark but rather than re-entering the building he followed the little alleyway around the side and onto the path that ran along the canal that flowed behind the hospital. He placed the bag of groceries on the ground as he leant against the railing and sighed, gazing out over the water. It had been a long time since he'd last ventured down here.

Reaching down into the bag he pulled out a packet of cigarettes. He'd quit years ago but today had sorely tested his resolve. All he seemed to do these days was fight with management over budgets and staffing levels. As he lit a cigarette he began to wonder if his colleagues actually still remembered that he was a nurse anymore. Of course he knew Duffy did, she was the only other person who recalled "the good old days" when the bureaucrats weren't quite so faceless and didn't seem to take up every second of his shift.

Taking another drag on the cigarette he chuckled humourlessly as he imagined how furious she'd be if she walked up now and caught him smoking. Luckily, however, she didn't know about this little hiding place of his. The two of them had scarcely any secrets, they'd been friends too long for that, but this was one of the few things he kept from her.

His grimace gradually melted, replaced by a genuine smile, as his thoughts turned to his best mate. He felt lucky to have her as a friend. Lisa Duffin was quite something alright, never afraid to give it to him straight when she felt he needed it. Their conversation earlier had been a prime example of that. No-one else would have had the guts to accuse him of having a mid-life crisis! He'd been stewing in his office after an altercation with an angry relative. She'd slipped into the room without knocking. She never knocked and he'd long since given up reminding her that she was supposed to. She'd looked at him with those beguiling green eyes of hers and he'd found himself instantly opening up, spewing forth all the anguish he'd been bottling up about how his life was turning out not at all like he'd hoped it would. 

He hadn't meant to sound so bitter and accusing when he'd pointed out that she had Peter. He knew it wasn't the same thing but at least she had someone who loved her unconditionally, someone to go home to at the end of the day. He was glad for her that she had that and maybe, if he was being truly honest with himself, just a tiny bit jealous. He wanted that for himself. By that he of course meant children, a family. He didn't mean... No, he was just feeling muddled because of how the conversation had ended. It was just a silly suggestion, not something to be taken seriously.

Except... He sighed, shaking his head as he stubbed out the cigarette and lit another. She'd meant it as a joke, a way to cheer him up, make him smile. She hadn't meant it as a serious plan. By the time he was sixty she would more than likely have already been snapped up by someone else anyway. There was bound to a man out there that wasn't a total fool, who would see what a gem she was and sweep her off her feet, away from this crappy existence. Away from him.

The thought of losing her hurt him to such a degree that it took him by surprise. He tried to push the feelings away, she was his best friend, of course he'd be sad if she left. That was the only reason, nothing more to it than that. Sure, she was funny, engaging and kind, not to mention stunning to look at. Yes, they'd crossed that unspoken line on a few occasions but that didn't mean things went any deeper than was proper between best friends. It just meant they probably shouldn't drink quite so much in each other's company. The bitter laugh that fell from his lips at that sounded nearly as hollow in his ears as his pathetic attempts to rationalise how he felt about her.

He stood silently for several moments watching the cigarette smoke drift away on the breeze, disappearing into the night. Looking down he could just about make out his reflection in the water below. It suddenly became clear to him, he was such a fool! Without meaning to, or even realising it had happened, he'd managed to fall totally and absolutely in love with the one woman he could never have.

Stubbing out the second cigarette he briefly contemplated lighting a third but instead he crumpled the packet in his hand and dropped it back into the bag beside his feet. For one brief mad moment he considered going round to her house and telling her how he felt. He quickly dismissed that idea. At best she'd laugh in his face, at worst she'd be so freaked out that she'd never speak to him again.

Reaching down to pick up the bag he turned to head for home. With each step he strengthened his resolve that, like the location where it had happened, tonight's discovery would become one of the few things he kept from her because even best mates have some secrets.


End file.
